Alright you wankers, you want your chance to sound off and be an “AngryKen”? Fine, go for it. Head on over to our new Submissions page and write up your own rant. That doesn’t mean we’re going to actually post it though. Yours’ll probably suck.

Four football fans go rock climbing one afternoon, a Bengals fan, a Browns fan, a Steelers fan, and a Ravens fan. They had been arguing all the way up the mountain about who among them was the most “die-hard” fan.

Upon reaching the top of the mountain, the Ravens fan proclaimed to the other four… “This is for the Baltimore Ravens!” and promptly threw himself off the mountain as a sacrifice.

Not to be outdone by a Ravens fan, the Browns fan jumped up and said…”This is for the Cleveland Browns!” and then threw himself off the mountain as a sacrifice.

Refusing to be outdone by the Ravens and Browns fans, the Bengals fan rose to his feet and yelled at the top of his lungs “This is for the Cincinnati Bengals!” and shoved the Pittsburgh Steelers fan off the mountain.

Now that the Pittsburgh Cheaters, er, Steelers have proven what they can do against a team once its star quarterback is knocked out of the game, they must now find a way to severely injure the only QB in the league better than Carson Palmer, Peyton Manning. Who do you think will win? Will the “STEALERS” go for the knees ala Palmer? Or will they go for Manning’s head in hopes of giving him a concussion or maybe even breaking his neck. Maybe Peyton will be allowed to play the whole game and we’ll get to see what would have happened had Carson Palmer gotten that same chance. My pick? Colts 34-14. What’s yours? 

Or maybe in a beautiful twist of fate, Ben Worthlessberger will go down. We saw how the Steelers did without him earlier in the season. I just hope if Tommy Maddox gets in he doesn’t throw too many interceptions or the Pittsburgh fans might do more than throw trash all over his lawn.

In all seriousness, I don’t want to see anyone get hurt. I’m looking forward to watching the game.

I want to live in Sandwich, Illinois. What a delicious place to live. I wonder if that’s where the sandwich was invented?

Marcus Vick has to be one of the dumbest bastards in the world. First he steps on a guy in a game, now he’s been arrested for brandishing a firearm. Dumbass! But now that he’s been kicked out of college he can just enter the NFL draft. Unfortunately he’s not as good as his older brother, which means he REALLY will suck. Just run around all day until they criticize you for not being able to throw. Then have 1 game where you throw for over 200 yards and more TDs than interceptions. That’ll silence those critics! Jackass!

Following last night’s game, a fan left a comment on my Chad Johnson post form a few days ago referring to Chad crying on the sideline. I say, yeah so what? While I didn’t see tears streaming down his face, he was clearly emotional. GOOD! That shows that he cares about winning the damn game! You wouldn’t see that from Terrell Owens. Randy Moss would just walk back to the lockerroom before the game ended. This is why I like Chad Johnson. He gives a damn, and works his ass off to make the Bengals better. Say what you want about a player showing his emotion after a heartbreaking loss. I have a feeling Chad Johnson will be dancing in the endzone soon enough. Hopefully all over Palamalu’s face.

Ken says no more! Anyone who says Weday should be shot immediately. It doesn’t even make sense. Let’s do a little translation. I’ll type real slow for you Pittsburgh people.

WhoDey, roughly translated means, “who do they think are going to beat those Bengals?” WeDey would mean “we do they think are going to beat those Bengal.” Unless you are an idiot like the Pittsburgh player they talked to after the game, this should make sense and therefore you should know not to make such a retarded statement. Way to go jackass. You beat a team after 2 of its key players were taken out after 4 minutes of play. You should feel a real sense of accomplishment. Enjoy while you can though before Indy smacks you in the face. 

I’m in a glass case of emotion! This is the kind of bad dream I would have days before a game like this. Star quarterback goes down with an injury at the beginning of the game and the home team loses. And it happened! WHY?! Here’s the conclusion I have come to in the aftermath of this disaster. The sports gods hate Cincinnati. Injury to star players is nothing new around here. We saw it in 2000 with Kenyon Martin when UC was expected to win the NCAA tournament, and we’ve seen it half a dozen times with Ken Griffey Jr. and the Reds. Everytime one of our hometown teams sees the light at the end of the tunnel everything goes to hell in a handbasket. This sucks and I’m mad. Get ready to hear about it.

So I am going to try and pull myself together and go over everything that happened. 

The game started off so well for us. The Bengal defense stopped Pitt on its first drive. Following a punt return, Carson Palmer threw a bomb to Chris Henry. Adulation suddenly turned to despair. I don’t think I ever went from such a high to such a low so quickly. I almost threw up seeing Palmer writhing in pain on the field. I still held on to hope that he would be ok. That changed when after the commercial break we all saw Carson being wheeled to the lockerroom on that cart. Never a good sign. I have never felt so deflated in my life, as I’m sure everyone in that stadium and watching at home felt. Except the Steeler fans who I’m sure loved it. But I’ll get to them shortly.

The Steeler who hit Palmer was former Bengal Kimo von Oelhoffen. I don’t think this was a late hit or a cheap shot as some believe, or thought at first glance. Kimo appeared to get around a block and stubled into Palmer’s knee with no intention of taking him out. You could tell after the play that von Oelhoffen was visibly upset that Carson was on the ground. He’s not a cheap player so I know he didn’t want to hurt him.

Too bad I can’t say the same for some of his teammates. In the plays following Palmer’s injury, the Steeler players turned into some real assholes. Now that the big dog was knocked out of the fight, I guess they felt real big and thought they could start shoving our guys around after plays were over. What a bunch of dicks. At least one of them got called for unsportsmanlike conduct.

Next, The Steelers did not impress me one bit. The way I see it, they took advantage of an emotionally deflated team that lost its leader. The Steelers didn’t play in a way that makes me think they would have beaten a Bengal team at full strength. Just after watching the first few minutes of the game before Palmer went down, I felt the Bengals would win this game. The Steelers didn’t even take control until late in the 3rd quarter. I think Jon Kitna is a great backup, but with Palmer in we probably would’ve had at least 10 more points by then. Our offense would have been more productive which means our defense would have been more rested than they were near the end. To sum it up, the Bengals would have won this game with Palmer.

I want to give a quick shout out to all the Cincinnati Bengal fans. I don’t care what anyone else says, we have the best fans in the NFL. There were very few Steeler fans present at the game and once the initial shock of Palmer’s injury wore off, the fans were still loud. You wouldn’t see that at alot of other stadiums. Bengal fans rule.

As distraught as I am over this calamity, I still hold out hope for the future. We’ll be back. Carson Palmer will come back stronger than ever. Our team will be improved on both sides of the ball. Pittsburgh’s reign of terror will come to an end. This happened for a reason people. Years of suffering will end as The Cincinnati Bengals will reach the Superbowl 4 straight times, winning at least 3 of them. Mark my words.

I can’t wait ’til next season. Get well soon Carson. WHODEY!!!

Where do I even begin on the topic of yesterday’s Bengals Steelers game? This could be a long day of anger, frustration, and sadness. Holy crap am I mad! Get ready to hear about ALL of it!

Hands down the best Philly cheesesteak is one from Penn Station. If there is a better Philly cheesesteak I would love to know. Great Steak and Potato are a close 2nd. Damnit I’m hungry.