I know this will come as very sad news to all of you, but Angry Ken will be taking a short hiatus.  I currently have an upcoming deadline for another project I am working on.  Therefore, I will need to focus my efforts toward that until it is completed.  Unless something REALLY pisses me off.

With that said, I have decided to let the inmates run the asylum until I return.  So I am asking anyone that has something they want to rant about to submit it to the “submissions” page.  This feature is available anytime, but now would be an excellent opportunity to really go nuts about something you don’t like, or just make comments about anything in general. 

So send those submission in, and see what it’s like to be an Angry Ken.

Who dey?… Who dey?… Who dey think gonna beat them Bengals?

Nobody.

Bring on New England.

Just a reminder to all you jackasses that “Jackass: Number 2″ comes out today.  I can’t wait to see this movie. From what I’ve heard so far, it is 10 times funnier than the first film.  And that’s pretty damn funny! Get ready to lose your lunch from laughing so hard.

On another note, the movie “Chopping Mall”, which was released in 1986, has to be one of the worst films ever made.  I recommend checking it out just for laughs.  The premise is stupid (three killer robots go ape sh*t in a shopping mall after hours), the acting is laughably bad, and the special affects are outdated, even for the 80’s.  Nonetheless, you’ll be entertained just at how bad the movie really is.  I remembered seeing it as a kid, and even then it was dumb.

The best part was the tagline for the trailer.

“They broke into the mall, for the party of their lives.”

Wow.

That’s right. At the risk of suffering from foot in mouth syndrome, Angry Ken is not saying anything about the game this weekend.  I’m not even going to try to predict what might happen in this game.  I just hope the Bengals come out on the winning side. 

But don’t get me wrong. I still hate the Steelers. More than any team in sports, but I’m not getting into a trash talking war. 

And you have to admit that this is now the biggest rivalry in the NFL.  I can’t wait until Sunday.

WHO DEY!

Who the hell is Hinder anyway? They must be total badasses right? I mean who wouldn’t be with a song called “Lips of an Angel” which totally sounds like a crappy 80’s power ballad.

You want to attack a band like OK Go!, a group that has more talent in one treadmill than your entire shitty ass disaster you call a band. (If you need more info on what I’m talking about, read this interview http://www.stereogum.com/archives/003347.html )

So I guess if someone does something original then they are not rock and roll and are fairies. Sounds like jealousy to me.

Yeah. Because fairies don’t write whiny songs about angel lips. Real rock and rollers also open for crappy bands like Nickelback and Hoobastank.

HELLO! You’re OPENING for Nickelback and Hoobastank! You have no right to tell anyone what rock and roll is.

Hinder, I’m calling you wannabe badasses out. Your music sucks and I would spit in all (however many people you have in your joke of a band) of your faces. You guys are so unoriginal that you sound like all the other garbage played today. And in an attempt to get more exposure, you go after a group of musicians that actually have talent. Way to go tough guys.

More people know who and what OK Go is/are than have even heard of Hinder. Listen to Hinder’s music and you’ll know why.

THEY F*CKING SUCK!

I really don’t know what else to say about this.  The person responsible for this disaster should have their driving privileges revoked, and be beaten senseless.

 http://www.cardomain.com/ride/275171

What’s wrong with people?!

My dating life has made for some humorous occurences as of late.  So rather than wallow in it, I might as well have fun.  I had the local oddsmaker come up with the numbers on some possible (and in my case very likely) scenarios.  Keep in mind that a couple of these have already happened.

Here are the betting odds that the next girl I date: 

- is crazy - 3:2 (1)
- is pregnant (by someone else) - 100:1
- has a kid(s) - 10:1
    Sub-bet: I have a confrontation at some point with “baby daddy” 3:1
- is a lesbian - 1,000,000:1 (2)
- is married - 25:1
- is “separated” - 25:2
- is engaged - 10,000:1 (3) 
- gets back with an ex - 5:1
- flees country before going on a date with Ken - 7:1
-  ” “   ” ”   ” “  after going on a date with Ken - 2:1
- is arrested - 5:1
-  ” “   ” “    while on a date with Ken  - 11:1
-  ” “   ” “   ” “   ” “   ” “   ” “   “  “    ” “  because of something Ken has done - 20:1                                        - disappears without a trace - 2:1 

Betting notes:
(1) This is more or less a given in some capacity.
(2) After a careful look at the situation, this has the slightest potential to be a good thing, therefore will not happen.
(3) This is normally the time of their lives that girls are the “most in love”. Ken will certainly not look appealing to anyone at that point.

As you can see, when comparing my love life to gambling, it pretty much comes out to be something alot like roulette of the Russian variety. So place your bets in the comments section. You might be a winner, as my loss could be your gain!

Here it is, finally. My angry NFL playoff picks.

AFC East: Patriots
AFC North: Bengals
AFC South: Colts
AFC West: Broncos

AFC Wildcard: Steelers, Chargers 

NFC East: Giants
NFC North: Bears
NFC South: Panthers
NFC West: Seahawks

NFC Wildcard: Falcons, Cowboys

AFC Champ: Bengals vs. Colts
NFC Champ: Panthers vs. Seahawks

Super Bowl: Panthers vs. Colts
Super Bowl Champ: Colts

These are just my picks, but I think they could be pretty accurate.  I feel like this is going to be a “wait and see” year.

The NFL season kicks off tonight when the Miami Dolphins visit the Pittsburgh Steelers.  All I can say is,

“Go Dolphins!”

Screw the Steelers.  I hope they lose every game.

My job may suck, but at least I occasionally come across funny stuff like this: 

YOUR SECURITY GUARDS ARE INAPPROPIATE. THEY ARE NOT PROPERLY UNIFORMED AND ARE NOT WELL-MANNARED. MANY OF THEM ARE WISE MOUTHS, AND MAY HAVE NOT HAD MUCH EXPERIENCE. SUGGESTION: PLEASE FIRE TWO FEMALES WHO HAVE SHORT BLACK HAIR AND THE OTHER WHO HAS BLOND HAIR. THEY DID NOT SHOW THE PROPER MANNERS OF A GUARD. THIS POSITION MUST BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY AND NOT TAKEN AS LET’S ACCUSE INNOCENTS. THANK YOU

She’ll be happy to know that they randomly fired two girls with black hair and a blonde.  They’ll never hassle her again…idiot.

Here’s a tip: Don’t steal shit and security guards will leave you alone.