You gotta love those cheap tv commercials for those “urban” clothing stores at the mall.  They are so ridiculous that you can only laugh.

You know the stores I’m talking about.  They have names like “Step ‘N’ Style” or “Tha Hard Ta Knock Shoppe,” where you can go for all your ghetto clothing needs.  What I can’t understand is why every mall around here needs like 5 or 6 of these stores.

Anyway, back to the commercials.  First of all, they look they like they were filmed on a cheap camcorder found on the side of the road on trash day.  And of course you have to have some dude rapping about all the clothes you can get (Baby Phat, G-Unit, whatever).

And let’s not forget the ghetto children (bebe’s kids) that they always have in the commercial, wearing their Sean John and Rocawear fur bubble coats.  They always look lost too, with blank stares on their faces while they stand there and model the clothes, or they are rapping out of synch with the music. 

The audio/visuals also just as bad.  I saw commercial where the picture was so dark you couldn’t even see the person.  I know that sounds bad, but it’s true.  And the audio sounds like it was recorded on a cassette player in a laundry room with the dryer on.  What the hell are they saying?   

There also a great commercial for place around here called “Uloho’s” (or something).  It’s one of those places where they sell like 30” rims to put on your 1986 Cutlass, effectively making the wheels worth more than the actual car itself.  Not to mention the stepladder now required to actually get in the vehicle.  Good luck trying to take a corner at more than 15 mph in that rig.  The commercial features some incoherent homemade rap with some ghetto dudes yelling nonsensicals at the camera while pointing at their spinners.  What you basically hear is;

“BlubudubahjibbajabbaULOHOSbabbledabblefimmelfammelaightyaheard.” 

Then they show what is supposedly Chad Johnson, but you can’t be sure because the lighting is so bad and you can’t hear what he’s saying.

Hilarious!

These places have everything you need to satisfy your inner thug or hood rat.  Everything except taste.

Just looking at this guy tells you he is a high ranking official in the parliament of d-bags. I mean, this guy gives tours of the d-bag history museum 3 days a week. And if the picture doesn’t have you convinced, just read what he has to say about his favorite band.

(I love Hinder’s music. The album Extreme Behavior is litterally the story of my life. I love the way the music can depress me and make me feel like it’s all still ok at the same time. I love to party and get fucked up and I guess I almost look at you guys as an extension of my own friends. THe same people doing the same thing. You all are there for me through your music and I appreciate that more then you know! You motherf*ckers rock!)

Done laughing yet? So the album is “literally” the story of his life. I bet it’s because he is so EXTREME in in his behavior right? Like he is always going all out and taking it to the limit. I do agree with him though. Hinder’s music is quite depressing, but knowing that they will someday die (probably of a self-induced drug overdose) makes me realize that it’s all going to be OK(Go!).

This young man has goals and ambition too! His hobbies include partying, getting fucked up, and wacking off to photos of Hinder in Blender magazine. Hinder even reminds him of his friends, because (I can only naturally assume) they also enjoy a good fucking up. Yes, the same people doing the same things; getting high, writing crappy music and contracting gonorreah while cheating on your already trashy girlfriend.
If this is truly the case, you need some new friends, dude. But as we all know, douchebags usually travel in packs, so looks like you’re stuck.

And yes, as long as you shell out money for overpriced concert tickets, posters, and other crappy merchandise, Hinder will be there for you “with their music”.

Who’s next?

Hinder is LAME! I am A.W.E.S.O.M.-O

Thanks to “SCG” for the entry:
With the high prices for seeing a movie anymore, I rarely endorse a movie that I see. Well…I saw ‘Borat’ last night and still can’t stop laughing.

Anyone who hasn’t seen it already needs to rush out to the nearest theater immediately.

Rarely does a movie make me laugh out loud but this movie had me in tears.  And there are a few scenes that will haunt me for years.

If you happen to be black, christian, or Jewish, a sense of humor and open mind are necessary to enjoy this movie.  It’s all in fun and damn fun it is!

Angry Ken says:  I still haven’t seen it, but I can’t wait.  Any movie that can offend so many people of diverse backgrounds is right up my alley.

7:00 P.M. Opening flag burning.

7:15 P.M. Pledge of allegiance to U.N.

7:30 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast

7:30 till 8:00 P.M. Nonreligious prayer and worship; Jessie Jackson and Al Sharpton.

8:00 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.

8:05 P.M. Ceremonial tree hugging.

8:15 - 8:30 P.M. Gay Wedding; Barney Frank Presiding.

8:30 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.

8:35 P.M. Free Sadam Rally; Cindy Sheehan, Susan Sarandon.

9:00 P.M. Keynote speech. The proper etiquette for surrender; French President Jacques Chirac.

9:15 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.

9:20 P.M. Collection to benefit Osama Bin Laden kidney transplant fund

9:30 P.M. Unveiling of plan to free freedom fighters from Guantanamo Bay; Sean Penn.

9:40 P.M. Why I hate the Military, A short talk by William Jefferson Clinton

9:45 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast

9:50 P.M. Dan Rather presented Truth in Broadcasting award; presented by Michael Moore.

9:55 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast

10:00 P.M. How George bush and Donald Rumsfeld brought down the World Trade Center Towers; Howard Dean

10:30 P.M. Nomination of Hillary Rodham Clinton by Mahmud Ahnadinejad.

11:00 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast

11:05 P.M. Al Gore reinvents Internet

11:15 P.M. Our Troops are War criminals; John Kerry

11:30 P.M. Coronation Of Mrs. Rodham Clinton

12:00 A.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast

12:05 A.M. Bill asks Ted to drive Hillary home

We’re doomed!

Okay. So after I wrote a second email, I got a call from a manager of Joe’s Crab Shack regarding my experience (My previous email had apparently been misplaced).  I was offered a free dinner the next time I visit, which is good enough for me.  Now if I could only get Circuit City to be as cool as Joe.
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A couple months ago I went to Joe’s Crab Shack for dinner, and it was one of the best examples of crappy service I’ve seen.

It was a Saturday night and the wait for a table was about 30 minutes. No big deal, as that is to be expected, so we had a couple beers at the bar. After about 45 minutes, we were finally seated.

At this point I was starving. But would I get to eat anything? No. We sat there for about another half hour with nobody even approaching our table, even though two other parties were seated after we were, and even received their food!

Eventually the hostess asked us if we had been waited on, then said she would go get a server. Several more minutes went by with nothing. We finally decided to finish our beers and walk out. As we left, we noticed most of the wait staff (hostess included) dancing in the main dining room. So instead of taking our order or anything like that, they found it more productive to dance.

So you may ask why I am writing about this so long after the fact. Well after this experience, I sent a comment card to Joe’s Crab Shack through their website, informing them of all this. I gave them a chance to perhaps make up for my lame experience, or to at least give me an apology. Since I received no response, I have decided to let everyone know about the poor service, and encourage them not to eat there.

I also planned to spend a decent amount of money too. I was hungry! But instead I went to Red Lobster. I suggest you do the same. Unless you like sitting around with nothing to eat while watching people dancing on tables to YMCA.

Now that NBA commissioner has instituted a zero tolerance rule for complaining to officials, players are now whining about not being able to whine.  Gimme a break.

I for one am all for this rule.  Complaining about the officiating in the NBA has become too commonplace.  Refs are going to make bad calls.  It’s just a fact of the game.  But I don’t need to see a player hollering, throwing his arms up, and rolling around on the floor everytime a whistle blows.

Take Rasheed Wallace of the Pistons, who has four technical fouls in four games so far this year.  The man goes nuts after every call or no-call.  It’s pathetic.  He looks like a little kid out there, throwing a tantrum after mom refuses to buy him that new toy.  Act like an adult for once, ‘Sheed.

In addition to his on-the-court protests, Wallace had this beacon of wisdom on the new rules:
“I know they’re going to have to do something about this crazy zero-tolerance law.  That’s retarded.  In my mind, it’s kind of like a slave and master or father and son.  You’ve got your little son and (you say) don’t say nothing back to me - and to me, that’s totally wrong. It ain’t like that in any other sport.”

Take a moment to try and make sense of that rhetoric.  Just forget everything you know about sense or proper English.

Is showing respect to the referees too much to ask of this guy?  Is it also too much to ask to play basketball and not throw all sense of composure out the window when you disagree with a call?  I think for Rasheed Wallace, it just might be.

All these players are claiming that the new rules “take the emotion out of the game”.  If I remember correctly, guys like Jordan and Bird played with as much emotion as anyone in the NBA, but they didn’t look like kindergarteners.  They channeled that emotion into the game itself, not at the referees.
Charles Barkley used to always say that NBA stood for No Babies Allowed.  It’s apparent that several managed to make it in anyway.

There is a growing trend that needs to stop immediately: People that walk without looking in the direction they are traveling. All too often, people are doing this. Especially when going around corners or entering doors, when the victim of the inconsiderate party is all but helpless to react. A collision is almost always unavoidable.

The simple solution is this: “Watch where you’re going!”

We are all told this countless time when we are children. Obviously many of us did not take that advice to heart. So stop walking in one direction while turning around to talk to someone and continuing to head in that direction. This also goes for idiots who like to stop dead in their tracks when walking in a crowd, knowing damn well that people are behind them. The world does not revolve around you, asshole. You can also at least look like you are making an effort to cross the street at a pace that does not hold up society. The next time you jaywalk in front of my car, I will run your ghetto ass down and not think twice.

- Another thing that needs to stop immediately is the wearing of any clothing with the phrase “white boy” on it. You should not wear this, even if you are indeed a white male. It’s lame and it does not make you look cool. Just another classic example of d-bag attire.

Class dismissed.