Despite my predictions that it would fail, “Meet the Spartans” came in first at the box office this weekend. This means one thing:
I have seriously overestimated the intelligence of people in our society.
I’m going to be blunt. If you went out and saw this movie, you are a complete f***ing IDIOT! I don’t care. You are the kind of dumb that used to only exist in cartoons. If you left this movie after seeing it thinking what a waste of time and money it was and regretted your choice that evening, then you are STILL an idiot because you should have known better. There are no passes for this one.
And don’t come on here commenting that you saw it and liked it and that I should shut up. You’re an idiot of the highest order and don’t deserve to breathe, let alone speak.
You know what I saw this weekend? Rambo. That’s right! F***ing RAMBO! Because Rambo kicks ass and did in this movie like he was supposed to. It’s not academy award winning storytelling. It’s just loud violent fun.
Nothing is fun about “Meet the Spartans.” These movies are single handedly killing cinematic comedy. Parody is not taking something and re-creating it with shitty actors doing poor imitations. Parody is taking something and putting a unique, humorous spin on it (Mel Brooks, The Simpsons). You can’t spoof a comedy. Borat is funny. Watching someone I never heard of dress up like Borat and it’s not a Halloween party? NOT funny.
This all proves that there are a ton of stupid people out there. It also means that we’re going to get another one of these steaming piles of monkey shit next year, probably featuring a lot of handheld camera shots of people screaming “oh my god,” “what is that!” and “ohshitohshitohshitohshit!”
So keep it up, young America. Continue to provide these horrible writers and directors with more money to make more horrible movies. You deserve to be charged with a felony if you saw “Meet the Spartans.”
