Live every day like it’s shark week.

I know I do!

You wanna start the year off with a bang? I intend to.  Angry Ken is going to LA in a few weeks. And chances are, he’s going to end up in jail.  Why? For doing what just about everyone else in the world would love to do.

I AM GOING TO BEAT THE CRAP OUT OF KEVIN FEDERLINE!!!

Make no mistake.  If I am ever in the same place as this human pile of garbage, and I spot his sorry ass, I am charging!  So if within the next couple months you hear about K-Fed being brutally assaulted, you’ll know who did it.

2007 is the year of Angry Ken.

To take what’s mine!

What exactly does it mean to “ride dirty”?  The other night, a couple of my friends and I began discussing the various possibilities of the meaning of this phrase from that stupid Nate Dogg song.

We first established that riding meant driving a car, as the line “We rollin’ dey hatin’” would refer to driving while the police/white man/white policeman is hating on them, or perhaps just making sure they don’t kill anybody. 

So now we’re riding in a car, most likely an uber expensive make and model with a wheel and tire combination that completely eliminates any hint of decent ride quality.  Anyway, ridng dirty probably means one or more of the following:

Riding with drugs (most likely crack, pot, paraphernalia, etc.),

Riding with stolen goods or money,

Riding with underage girls in the backseat (R. Kelly?),

Riding in a dirty car that hasn’t been washed,

Riding when you haven’t showered in a little while,

Riding with the clap maybe?

Hopefully now most of you have a little better idea of what it is to ride dirty, so now you can avoid being caught.  If it’s one thing I hate, it’s to be caught ridin’ dirty.  So turn your lights on at night, stay in your lane, and obey the designated speed limits.  Ya don wan dem foos ta catch ya ridin’ dirtay yo!

I really, really hate everthing that is MTV.  They have to be the lamest thing in entertainment these days.  What pisses me off most is the crap that passes for television shows on their sorry network.  Laguna Beach? The Hills? I don’t know which is worse; the show itself or the people who actually watch that garbage.  “Hey, I wanna watch a bunch of rich snobby high school kids talk on the phone to their friends.” How entertaining! It is fact that just by watching five minutes of one of these shows will indeed make you less intelligent.

Maybe even worse is that f*cking ridiculous show Super Sweet 16.  Jesus Christ why is this even on!? Spoiled brats want Daddy to throw them a party or they will demand to be emancipated.  “I didn’t want the blue BMW I wanted the red BMW! I hate you!” says the stuck up bitch to her mom and dad. 

Just as bad as the kids are the parents.  I don’t care how rich you are.  If you spend millions of dollars on a stupid party for your vapid slut of a daughter for her birthday, you are a f*cking idiot and you make me sick! You shouldn’t have that money to begin with because you clearly aren’t intelligent enough to justify such a bank account.  I want to shoot you in the face.

MTV used to be the place to find good music videos, etc.  Now it’s just sucking the intelligence right out of society.

Way to go you foreign spamming bastards!  Thanks to you all, we had to shut down the Angry Ken live shout box because you tards cluttered it up with your constant spam ad crap.  Way to take away the livelihood of many people.  You don’t even know how to speak English!

“Your project is might relevant.  I should like to promote you to I friends.  Keep work up good for project.”

F*CK YOU!!  It’s people like you that have ruined the internet, making it damn near impossible to get any use out of it.  I hope you’re happy!  Keep it up, and you will really feel the wrath of Angry Ken!

In shocking news, there was a shooting after a rap concert. Wow, really?

As soon as I read “Club Ritz” in the paper it all made sense. Except the part that a club named after a cracker is the most ghetto place in town? This is what you get when you have an after party for a rap concert at the most ghettofied establishment in Cincinnati. And everyobody knows that when you put a bunch of ghetto people together, something bad is gonna happen. Ghetto people do not know how to control themselves in public. And since they all think they represent the “streets” or some idiotic form of “thug life” that they have to carry guns and throw down with anyone who happens to be there.

What the hell are a bunch of wannabe gangsters, or “wanksters”, doing driving down the highway firing shots at some rapper’s entourage? Do they not have anything better to do? The answer is no, they really don’t. Because when dey is dissed, dey gots to represent dey click, or some dumb shit like that.

So if you don’t want shootings and gang wars to keep happening around here, you need to shut down “Da Ritz” before more people get killed. But if you ask me, as long as the gangsters are only killing each other than be my guest. But unfortunately, someone innocent is bound to get caught up in it. Shut that place down. Yeah you’ll upset all the hood rats and thugs, but who cares? What positive contribution do they make to society? Selling crack out of your leased Escalade is not a legitimate means of business. Pull your pants up, wear a shirt that actually fits, get a job, and grow up!

This may get me into some arguments with Laker fans, but who cares because anyone who likes the Lakers is an absolute IDIOT!

I guess since the Lakers are on the verge of eliminating the Phoenix Suns from the NBA playoffs that everyone is going to say that that piece of crap Kobe Bryant should be the MVP. Well I’m here to tell you “no he shouldn’t.” Steve Nash is still the league’s most valuable player. On top of that, the award is for the season. Not the playoffs. That’s why they have a finals MVP.

Yeah, Nash caught a bad break. He clearly tried to call a timeout, but the arena was so clouded with smug from the LA fans that the ref didn’t hear it I guess. Why do the teams I hate always win? I hate Kobe Bryant with a passion. I don’t care how good of a player he is. In my book, he is a piece of garbage. I know it is reported that Nash will win the MVP, and rightfully so. But I wouldn’t be surprised if it ends up going to Bryant just because of this series, even though the playoffs have nothing to do with it. So many sports fans and reporters live too much in the present. When a guy like Nash has a phenomenal year (even better than last year) everyone wants to turn when his team has a couple bad games. If Nash indeed does not win the MVP award, it will be an absolute robbery. Nash makes his entire team better, and he’s done it for the past 2 seasons. Kobe getting his team of nobodies involved for a couple games does not make him deserving of MVP.

I will always hate the Lakers, and I will always hate Kobe Bryant.

Go ahead Laker fans, let me hear it. Your comments will carry about as much weight as those of a Yankees fan.

So my associate Budke came up with an idea to have the word “cool” be replaced with the word “megaman.” For example; instead of saying “that was so cool,” one would say “that was so megaman.” Normally after hearing of such a proposal, I would call my associate a retarded idiot. However, I actually kinda liked the idea. Then, just now, I think it sounds totally stupid. But then again, pop culture LOVES stupid crap like this. So it just might catch on. And knowing Budke’s uncanny ability to make crazy stuff happen, I wouldn’t be surprised if this phrase starts sweeping the country come summertime. And just in case it does (unlikely), you heard it here first at Angry Ken!

Because Angry Ken is soooo MEGAMAN!

The gas prices keep rising and I think it’s bullcrap.  I have to fill up on my way home from work today and I’ve already spent enough money this past week.  What happened to the days when gas was right around $1.30 a gallon?  Ah crap this sucks.

Is there any end in sight?  Probably not.  The way I see it, we all deal with the high cost of gas and eventually become used to it.  After a while, We’ll be thrilled to have have gas prices at $3 a gallon when the price shoots up between $3.50 and $4.00 or higher.  It’s all part of the damn oil companies’ plan. 

The days of $2.00 gas are gone.  Get ready to shell out half your paycheck on a damn tank of gas.