I go to these bars and one thing is clear.  Wherever I go, I am the coolest guy there.  Everyone else just doesn’t realize it.  When a place is boring, it means I am just too cool for that place.  I really don’t have anywhere I’m going with this.  I’m just bored.  And that’s not cool.  Neither am I really.  But I am still cooler than you.   

What can make going to a baseball even better? That’s right! Cheerleaders! This year the Reds have their very own cheerleading squard, the MDX Reds Crew. I, for one, couldn’t be happier.

I think left fielder Adam Dunn had the best comment when asked about the new team.

“I think it’s a great idea,” Dunn said. “It gets the fans into (the game) and gives us something to look at.”

They’re something to look at alright. If there was ever a reason to bring binoculars to the ballpark,this is it.

If only I had season tickets behind the dugout. These ladies are the only wlecome distraction from the actual game. How could anyone not want cheerleaders at baseball games?

To quote Arnold Schwarzenegger, Joakim Noah is one ugly motherf*cker. And I can’t figure out why the sports networks (CBS, ESPN) are totally on his jock. I hadn’t even heard of him until last week. That didn’t stop them from closing in on his ugly mug every 10 seconds. Guy looks like an ugly pre-teen girl.

Noah also says that the NBA bores him and he would like campass life much better. Well of course you do you rich bastard. You were born into wealth so why would you be eager to declare for the draft. What a queer.

Angry Ken is in a fightin’ mood today. It makes me think of my dream to have a boxing match with someone famous that I really hate. So far the front runner is Fred Durst. What I would give for the chance to pummel this piece of human garbage. I think I would be giddy with excitement. This would be no friendly bout. I would want to mop the floor with him. But I’ll never get the chance because Durst is a punk ass and I am not famous in the least. Nonetheless, I am extending this challenge to Fred Durst or somoene equally bastardized. It is my obligation to the people that I beat the crap out of a no-talent rich son of a bitch. I’m open to suggestions of other famous losers to fight.

Come on Durst. You probably google your own name on a daily basis, so I know you’ll see this. Step up and be a man for once in your life. Accept my challenge.

….Is Angry Ken finally getting the recognition that it deserves? We’re up for a Bloggy Award. Everyone deserves to hear my rant, one day I’ll dominate the world!!! This is merely the first step!!! Bwah ha ha ha!!! We now return you to your regularly scheduled pissed off ness.

Howard Stern sucks. The only person that bitches more than him is me. But I’m not rich so I’m allowed to. I don’t know why David Letterman is always having him on his show, but then again, Letterman has never been funny. At least not to me.

I used to listen to Stern on the radio during my commutes to school. It was somewhat entertaining. Enough to get me through the half hour drive to campus. But after Stern was sanctioned or fined or whatever it was, all he did from that point forth was bitch and moan about how he was being denied his rights to free speech and all this crap. It eventually got old listening to Stern constantly whine about getting out to go to satellite radio. Cry me a fucking river. I quickly stopped listening.

Never have I heard someone with so much fame and money complain so much. Somebody should whack him in the knees with a baseball bat to accompany his many previous hits with the ugly stick. This is one guy who can actually make you dumber just by listening to him. What a jagoff. Howard Stern sucks.

What’s up with those white guys that think they’re black? Could they look anymore ridiculous with the clothes they wear? Come on. Whenever you see a white guy wearing super baggy jeans that hang below his ass with a t shirt that reaches below the knees, you should just point and laugh. He is not a “gangsta” and is probably a complete drain on society while trying to portray the “thug life” in the middle of the suburbs.

It’s bad enough when they dress the part, but when they try to talk like thugs is even worse. Look whitey. You know damn well that you did not grow up on the streets and were raised in a normal middle class home with both your parents. You were taught how to properly communicate. You just either forgot because you spend all day watching BET, or you think you won’t be “hard” if you don’t use ebonics and talk with a ghetto accent.

Seriously. GROW UP! Do you really think you’re going to be acting like that when you’re in your 30’s? Take the sticker off of your baseball cap and turn it forward. You are not a thug, you are not street, hood, or any of those things. Start speaking English and do something with your life. And don’t try rapping because you suck.

Oh by the way. It’s hard drive a car if you can’t see over the dash board. You aren’t driving a Laz-E-Boy recliner. Raise your seat back up and drive like a normal person, idiot!

This one is gonna be fun for me. Despite my nonsensical rantings, I am NOT on drugs. Actually, I have never done any illegal drug in my life. Not even pot, not once. Now I will belittle those of you that do use it.

Flat out, if you use illegal drugs for recreational purposes on a regualr basis, that makes you a piece of trash in my book. I’m going to stick strictly to the pot smokers for this rant, since you are the ones who really disgust me.

I can pretty much look at a person and tell you if they smoke weed or not. The signs are usually pretty obvious, whether it’s how they dress, talk, their personality, the fact that any job that does drug testing is considered a bad career move to them. I just know a pothead when I see one. You people are pathetic. I knew alot of people that did this crap. You know why I never did it? Because I saw what they were and never wanted to be like that. Plus I like having money in my pocket. What kind of dumbass spends $50 or more for a little bag of grass? What a fucking dumbass. How much more money would you have if you didn’t participate in such trashbag activities? Especially when you probably have 3 illegitimate kids you probably aren’t taking care of. You piece of trash loser.

And is your life that crappy that you need drugs to have a good time or feel good? Is getting high the only thing that gives you enjoyment? Is alcohol not enough? I know you might be living in a rundown trailor because you couldn’t get your GED and moving couches for a living will be the pinnacle of your career, but there are more constructive things to do than sit around smoking weed with that guy who is always wearing that cheap gold chain and a T shirt 4 sizes to big who you think lives around the corner, but you aren’t exactly sure. You just know he shows up whenever he smells pot.

I hope to god they never legalize marijuana. And if they ever do, they better also make it legal to beat dirty hippies in the head with a baseball bat. Only then would I be content with the legalization of this nasty shit. That would almost be an even trade.

Almost forgot. Have you ever heard a jackass talk about how weed is good for you? Just shut the fuck up right now doctor. I’ll remember that next time I want my eyes to be bloodshot and not be able to remember my address. Newsflash retards! Inhaling any form of smoke into your lungs never has been and never will be considered healthy by any standard. Just keep telling yourself that you are doing your body a service by DOING DRUGS.

I have no problem with having everyone in favor of legalized marijuana thrown off a cliff. I’d be just fine without these wastes of space.

Whoever said that money can’t buy happiness must have been some poor guy. And anyone who thinks that this is true just doesn’t know what to spend it on. Holy hell the happines I could purchase with a few mil. You’d have to surgically remove the smile that I’d have on my face. Remember this above all; money solves all of life’s problems. At least it would solve all of mine. That’s why I could care less when some rich bastard complains about shit. You have money! Shut the fuck up! I hate rich people because they don’t know how to do it right.

Let me remind you trunk monkies that this site is called Angry Ken. My name is Ken and I am angry. I complain, I whine, I bitch, I set the record straght, I tell it like it is. “Stop whining,” they say in Schwarzenegger voices. Pardon me, but that is what Angry Ken is here for. If you’re too dimwitted to understand the point, then as Arnold would say, “get out of here!” Otherwise, bask in the glory that are the lunatic rants of Angry Ken. Come. See if you can piss me off today.