Since Google has decided to not index my WWE SummerSlam related pages like they normally do, I have listed them all here for convenience. We’re live blogging SummerSlam this Sunday, so click on the link(s) below and check it out.
SummerSlam Live Coverage
SummerSlam Live Stream
SummerSlam
SummerSlam Results
I will personally be live-blogging the WWE Royal Rumble for Mahalo.com on Sunday, January 27th (TODAY!). This will be the best live Rumble coverage on the interwebs, so I recommend checking it out. I give it my own personal stamp of quality, whatever that means.
Let me start by saying that I loved the tv show “Jackass” as well as the movies. But I will not watch the new show “Dr. Steve-O”.
If you don’t know anything about Steve-O, I’ll sum it up like this. The man should be sterilized. And I’m not joking. He is nothing short of a complete idiot. I guess this is what happens when you combine massive amounts of illegal drugs and alcohol with a free pass to do any dumbass stunt that comes to your primitive mind.
From what I’ve heard, the premise of the show is “Dr.” Steve-O showing supposed wussies how to be manly men.
Allow me to speak for all males when I say that Steve-O does not represent our species in any way, nor should he. EVER! If being manly requires diving headfirst into ceiling fans or lighting one’s genitals on fire, then our society is in a sadder state than I thought.
Anyone in need of advice on how to be a real man, look no further than Chuck Norris.
Due to the overwhelming popularity of the “don’t tase me, bro” guy, I’ve decided to refer to the remaining days of September as “Tase-Mania.” So let’s all enjoy these last “tase” of summer. Because if you ain’t tasin’, you ain’t tryin’.
Right, “Tase” Zonday?
Chocolate tase!
What a f**king baby Kanye West is. Can you believe this guy? Talk about a sore loser, especially when it comes to an MTV award. Doesn’t he know that winning an MTV video award pretty much means you suck? In this video you can hear him say something about being tired of pop (music). Wake up Kanye! You are pop. You used to be cool but now you are as mainstream as anyone.
Kanye West has sucked ever since he swapped his backpack for Diddy-style sunglasses.
There are very few times that I have ever considered walking out of a movie before it has ended. Rob Zombie’s version of Halloween made me want to run out of the theater, dig a hole, and bury my head in it until I forgot that I had actually paid money to see such an atrocity of film making. Oh yes, it was that bad.
Rob Zombie at some point thought to himself that the original Halloween just wasn’t how he envisioned it should be, so he decided that he would make his own version of it. Mr. Zombie must’ve thought there should be a remake of Halloween that took all the suspense, excitement, and thrills of the original classic flick and completely toss them out the window. But kids today are dumb enough to go see anything labeled a horror movie, especially one with “Halloween” in the title.
I haven’t seem the original Halloween in quite some time, so it’s not like I’m comparing the two. The 2007 incarnation is just a big, nonsensical killing spree. The same unoriginal murder scene happens over and over again. Teens have sex, Michael comes in, kills the boyfriend, then chases the topless girl around until she’s dead. This literally happens three or four times.
And the big explanation for why Michael Myers was a demented killer? Oh, he was just born that way. How creative. My new mission is to get the $20 I spent on this movie back from Rob Zombie himself. So if anyone happens to know where he lives or how to get a hold of him that would help.
Long story short, this movie absolutely sucks, so don’t see it. Go watch the original for a good, classic scare.
Rob Zombie should not be allowed to make movies
Recently I was unlucky enough to watch the pilot of ‘Cavemen’, and I am at a loss for words. So I will just say this.
‘CAVEMEN’ IS THE ABSOLUTE WORST F**CKING SHOW I HAVE EVER SEEN!
‘Cavemen’ is based on the Geico commercials. While the commercials were pretty funny, the ABC show is a complete disaster. I watched the entire thing and did not laugh once. I’m serious. The commercials were about modern day cavemen dealing with people thinking they were less intelligent than the rest of society. The show seems to take the position that cavemen are an entirely different race and are shunned by everyone else for being inferior. If I found this insulting, imagine what the people that the writers were clearly trying to mirror are going to think.
I can’t even tell you how much I hated this poor excuse for a sitcom. It really is that bad. I can guarandamntee that this pile of crap will not last more than three eposides. And I am being extremely generous with that prediction. If the people over at ABC manage to pull their heads out of their asses, this show will never see the light of day.
Will these three cavemen be the end of mankind as we know it? I say yes.
Last night I got to go to the first annual Spike TV Guys Choice Awards taping here in LA. I was in the audience behind the performance stage. What I saw was a complete train wreck of a show.
Hosted by Tracy Morgan (SNL, 30 Rock) the Guys Choice Awards settles “debates” over things that guys supposedly talk about: Who’s the hottest Jessica, Who’s the biggest badass, crap like that.
If I had been watching this show on tv, I would’ve turned channels within 2 minutes. Tracy Morgan was a terrible host, frequently messing up lines and going off on tangents about nothing that was really all that funny. It’ll probably be the first and last time he is asked to host anything bigger than a tupperware party.
Before I go into more about the actual show, let me talk a little about my role in the taping. I was a member of the guys in the audience behind the stage. My roommate and I were surrounded by roughly 50 douchebags who clearly had no interests beyond alcohol and T&A, which really was the whole purpose of the show. If it were possible to get stoned off of hair gel, I would’ve gotten a contact high.
Anyway, they herd us in there like cattle and make us stand there for about 2 hours before the show even started. We would continue to stand through the entire taping as there were no chairs in our section. Even worse, the promise of beer and food was made before we even arrived. What we got was ONE beer before the taping, and none after that. The show runners said they would be getting us more, but clearly that was a lie just to keep us settled until they started taping and we would be stuck. The whole situation was just poorly thought out. Have us sit at tables with beer and pretzels or something. Don’t make us stand there for 5 f*cking hours with nothing to eat or drink. You think we were a little restless by the time this disaster was almost over? You think we were a bit agitated while all the pampered celebrities got to drink until they were stumbling through acceptance speeches (Rose McGowan)?
So anyway, here were the high points of the show:
ZZ top performed while Carmen Electra and the burlesque whores pranced around in lingerie and took advantage of conveniently placed stripper poles. Plus, they had to do this twice due to technical issues during the first go around. Bonus!
Pee Wee Herman gave an award to Will Ferrell (who was hilarious).
Adam Sandler gave a funny speech after receiving the “Guys Guy” award. He then introduced Styx who rocked out.
Everything else was pretty much a big, time wasting crap fest. Most of this garbage probably won’t even make air. I’ll watch the broadcast just to try and find myself in the audience (Hint: I’m to the right on the stage where ZZ Top and Styx performed).
Hopefully the next Hollywood event I attend will have some sort of point or purpose. But then again, we’re talking about Hollywood.
F*%k you, Spike TV! You guys suck!
F*ckin’ California
Our own little short about the issues of remote control frustration has made it on to Will Ferrell’s video site! Go check it out and vote if possible.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T-o5EzNKOEs
