I wrote this back in November for our very own Crazy8opinions.com. This was the unofficial beginning of Angry Ken. Little did we know how many people I was going to piss off. Although I don’t think anyone’s gonna argue with this one. These people totally suck!

8. Britney Spears - Oh baby baby, how are we supposed to care? I sure as hell don’t, and neither does anyone else. You used to be hot. Then you married some piece of trash wanna be thug, moved into a trailer park and had a son who will sure enough end up scarred for life and on some creepy reality show in 18 years. And does every item of clothing you wear have to express something that you are thinking? How about a tank top that says “Look at me. I’m pregnant” That pretty much sums up your wardrobe. I think it’s time for you to go make out with Madonna in a Kabala temple.

7. Ashlee Simpson - Somebody please kick this chick in the throat. It would probably make her sound better. Lip-synching on SNL and getting booed off the stage at the Orange Bowl. All this and yet you still have a career. What is wrong with America? Why is this girl still in the news? She sucks. Plain and simple.

6. Colin Farrell - You can’t say enough about how much I hate this drunken Irish dickhead. First of all I can’t think of one memorable movie he has been in. He apparently thinks he’s such a badass because he drinks heavily, chain smokes, and utters incoherent curses for every other word while trying to string together a sentence. Apparently women love the the smell of cigarette smoke and vodka laced vomit. Somebody punch this idiot in the face with a brick.

5. Ashton Kutcher - I’ll admit that this guy is kinda funny on “That 70’s Show”, well not really, but other than that he is totally annoying. Has anyone has seen “Punk’d” lately? How pointless has that show gotten? “I’M ASHTON KUTCHER BLAH BLAH BLAH! We had an actor fall over in front of you! You just got PUNK’D!” What an obnoxious bastard. But don’t worry. Soon his career will be over because the guy is a completely one-dimensional actor and the 70’s only lasted a decade. The sooner this moronic asshole disappears the better.

4. Paris Hilton - “That’s hot.” Actually, no it’s not and neither are you. Somebody get this girl a damn sandwich. Nothing about this girl turns me on. What a vapid airhead. Her brain is completely void of any relevant thought. The simple life? More like the simple mind. SLAP!

3. Kid Rock - Another wannabe hardass. This is America pal, and in America we try to shower at least once a week. He must have missed the memo. This guy seems to roll out of bed every morning, put on the nearest beer stained REO Speedwagon t shirt and soak his hair in bacon grease. What a cool guy. Oh yeah and he is a musician, if you wanna call it that. How come the people that deserve to be shot never are?

2. Fred Durst - Possibly the biggest poser on the planet. Hearing him try to rap or sing or really do anything makes me want to blow my own brains out. What a bitch. This guy would run from a girl scout troop. Actually he’d probably join one. I’d pay money to swing a bat into the head of this no talent waste of space.

1. P. Diddy - Uh huh, yeeah. I hate so many people that it’s hard to pick one to hold that coveted number 1 spot, but it’s hard to deny the power of annoyance that Sean Combs aka Puff Daddy aka P. Diddy aka Diddy possesses. Anyone who has a ceremony to change their name from Puff Daddy to P. Diddy has a serious ego problem going on. Uh huh, yeeah. This guy thinks that everyone is concerned about what he is doing all the time. I guess he’s so cool that he can wear sunglasses at night, or indoors, or in his drivers license photo. I guess he needs something to distract people from the huge overbite action he’s got going on. At least try to close your mouth! Biggie must be rolling in his grave after seeing what this dope has made of his legacy. Personally, I think “Diddy” was in on the whole thing so he could take center stage. What a fuckhead!

Howard Stern sucks. The only person that bitches more than him is me. But I’m not rich so I’m allowed to. I don’t know why David Letterman is always having him on his show, but then again, Letterman has never been funny. At least not to me.

I used to listen to Stern on the radio during my commutes to school. It was somewhat entertaining. Enough to get me through the half hour drive to campus. But after Stern was sanctioned or fined or whatever it was, all he did from that point forth was bitch and moan about how he was being denied his rights to free speech and all this crap. It eventually got old listening to Stern constantly whine about getting out to go to satellite radio. Cry me a fucking river. I quickly stopped listening.

Never have I heard someone with so much fame and money complain so much. Somebody should whack him in the knees with a baseball bat to accompany his many previous hits with the ugly stick. This is one guy who can actually make you dumber just by listening to him. What a jagoff. Howard Stern sucks.

What’s up with those white guys that think they’re black? Could they look anymore ridiculous with the clothes they wear? Come on. Whenever you see a white guy wearing super baggy jeans that hang below his ass with a t shirt that reaches below the knees, you should just point and laugh. He is not a “gangsta” and is probably a complete drain on society while trying to portray the “thug life” in the middle of the suburbs.

It’s bad enough when they dress the part, but when they try to talk like thugs is even worse. Look whitey. You know damn well that you did not grow up on the streets and were raised in a normal middle class home with both your parents. You were taught how to properly communicate. You just either forgot because you spend all day watching BET, or you think you won’t be “hard” if you don’t use ebonics and talk with a ghetto accent.

Seriously. GROW UP! Do you really think you’re going to be acting like that when you’re in your 30’s? Take the sticker off of your baseball cap and turn it forward. You are not a thug, you are not street, hood, or any of those things. Start speaking English and do something with your life. And don’t try rapping because you suck.

Oh by the way. It’s hard drive a car if you can’t see over the dash board. You aren’t driving a Laz-E-Boy recliner. Raise your seat back up and drive like a normal person, idiot!

Whatever city you live in, if you have a chance to get to a major league baseball game featuring the San Francisco Giants, I hope that you will loudly boo and or jeer one Barry Bonds. He deserves every nasty remark and catcall he gets, disgraceful cheater. I try to get to as many Reds games as I can each year, but I will make extra effort to go when they play the Giants, just so I can boo my lungs out at this piece of crap. He should get pelted with beer bottles in the outfield.

Here it is. The first draft of what will be known as “The Suck List.” Basically, Anyone I dislike for whatever reason will be on this list, whether because they suck at what they do, or just suck in general. Just remember, this list is far from being complete and as of right now is in no particular order. And, I will take any suggestions for add-ins. Enjoy!

Hinder

Kid Rock

Fred Durst

Sean (Diddy) Combs

Nelly

Colin Farrel

David Arquette

Britney Spears

Kevin Federline

Christina Aguilera

Jay-Z

Chingy

Master P

Ashlee Simpson

Chris Berman

Ashton Kutcher

Freddie Prinze Jr.

Paris Hilton

Ryan Seacrest

Hinder

Scott Stapp

Paula Abdul

Michael Jackson

Bill Cowher

Kobe Bryant

The Pittsburgh Steelers

George Steinbrenner

Nancy Zimpher (University of Cincinnati President)

Every Wayans brother except Damon

The Democratic Party

Stuck up girls

People who lie about being in the military

Guys who hit girls

Mike Vanderjagt

Mike Tice

Ryan Budke (haha)
Jimmy Fallon

The current writing staff of Saturday Night Live

Jean Paul

Bud Selig

Justin Timberlake

The New York Yankees

The Black Eyed Peas

Terrell Owens

Drew Rosenhaus

Howard Stern

Barry Bonds

Manny Ramirez

Kenny Rogers (Texas Rangers pitcher)

White guys that think they’re black

Bode Miller

Randy Jackson

Korn

Michael Moore

Rob Cohen

Ben Affleck

R. Kelly

Tom Cruise (after he went nuts)

Dennis Rodman

Raphael Palmeiro

Mark McGwire

Sammy Sosa

Any other athlete on steroids

People who wear bowties

Jennifer Lopez

Marc Anthony

Enrique Iglesias

Ricky Martin

Nick Carter

Aaron Carter

Bow Wow

Jermaine Dupri

Snoop Dogg

Brian Billick

Ray Lewis

Jamal Lewis

Spike Lee

Howard Stern

Tom Brady

Warren Sapp

Corey Dillon

Takeo Spikes

Kimo Von Oelhoffen

Randy Moss

Rev. Jesse Jackson

Donald Trump

Martha Stewart

Latrell Sprewell

Prince

Brock Lesnar

Raspy-voiced guys that have radio shows

David Wells

The Boston Red Sox

The New England Patriots

Jose Canseco

Tom Arnold

50 Cent

Craig Littlepage and the rest of those dickless NCAA committee members

Hinder

That guy on the tonight show is so annoying. No, not Jay Leno, although he has his moments. That intern guy who talks like a woman and is supposed to be gay I guess. He is so unfunny and boring, cracking lame jokes and exercising played out homosexual stereotypes. Anyone who thinks this guy is funny must be an idiot. Think of something better to put on the show.

It amazes me the stupid crap people get upset about these days. I’m talking about people (particularly customers) that go berzerk over stuff that isn’t that important. You know who I mean. That bitch at a restaurant who says her burger is cold, the jerk at the checkout counter who refuses to give any information in order to use his credit card because he thinks everyone and their mom is gonna start telemarketing to him, or the person that acts like the world will come to an end if they can’t find a pair of shoes they want.

If these people get so worked up over something so petty, what happens when something bad actually happens? They go nuts over dumb crap like having to pay an extra 30 cents for something they “thought” was on sale. Just shut up.

And for you people who act liek an ass to someone trying to help you, guess what. They don’t care what you want. The more you throw a fit and act like a bitch, the less they will want to make you happy and the more they just want you to shut the fuck up. Try being nice and understanding and you’d probably get more than you would acting like a fucking prick.

If cold french fries are the worst thing to ever happen to you then you are one lucky son of a bitch. Seriously, find something else to complain about. Like me.

Get the f*ck over it!

This one is gonna be fun for me. Despite my nonsensical rantings, I am NOT on drugs. Actually, I have never done any illegal drug in my life. Not even pot, not once. Now I will belittle those of you that do use it.

Flat out, if you use illegal drugs for recreational purposes on a regualr basis, that makes you a piece of trash in my book. I’m going to stick strictly to the pot smokers for this rant, since you are the ones who really disgust me.

I can pretty much look at a person and tell you if they smoke weed or not. The signs are usually pretty obvious, whether it’s how they dress, talk, their personality, the fact that any job that does drug testing is considered a bad career move to them. I just know a pothead when I see one. You people are pathetic. I knew alot of people that did this crap. You know why I never did it? Because I saw what they were and never wanted to be like that. Plus I like having money in my pocket. What kind of dumbass spends $50 or more for a little bag of grass? What a fucking dumbass. How much more money would you have if you didn’t participate in such trashbag activities? Especially when you probably have 3 illegitimate kids you probably aren’t taking care of. You piece of trash loser.

And is your life that crappy that you need drugs to have a good time or feel good? Is getting high the only thing that gives you enjoyment? Is alcohol not enough? I know you might be living in a rundown trailor because you couldn’t get your GED and moving couches for a living will be the pinnacle of your career, but there are more constructive things to do than sit around smoking weed with that guy who is always wearing that cheap gold chain and a T shirt 4 sizes to big who you think lives around the corner, but you aren’t exactly sure. You just know he shows up whenever he smells pot.

I hope to god they never legalize marijuana. And if they ever do, they better also make it legal to beat dirty hippies in the head with a baseball bat. Only then would I be content with the legalization of this nasty shit. That would almost be an even trade.

Almost forgot. Have you ever heard a jackass talk about how weed is good for you? Just shut the fuck up right now doctor. I’ll remember that next time I want my eyes to be bloodshot and not be able to remember my address. Newsflash retards! Inhaling any form of smoke into your lungs never has been and never will be considered healthy by any standard. Just keep telling yourself that you are doing your body a service by DOING DRUGS.

I have no problem with having everyone in favor of legalized marijuana thrown off a cliff. I’d be just fine without these wastes of space.

This is completely irrelevant to anything, but Michael Moore is a fat piece of crap. This guy stretches the truth more than his pants. I never saw his Farenheit 911 movie and I never will. Actually I might watch it for laughs (the other commentary anyone?). Luckily we haven’t heard much from this blowhard lately, and I hope it stays that way. Bush rules suckas.

Who the hell is Bodie Miller anyway? I’d never even heard of him before the winter olympics started. Apparently he is one of the world’s best skiers, and a drunk frat guy at the same time. He boasted the whole time how awesome he was only to come in near last place in his olympic runs. Then he makes excuses about how he doesn’t care and it’s just a medal. That’s loser talk for “I said I was great, but when it came down to it, I couldn’t get it done.” It’s one thing to not live up to expectations, but at least own up to it. Acting like you don’t care that you screwed up just makes you look like an ass, which you probably are. Maybe next time you should have some more beers before making your run.

Bodie Miller is a fraud and should have his endorsement deals revoked.