The first shots have been fired in the war against crapism, by ME. As you all know, I hate the band Hinder. And with good cause. Not only do they totally suck, they try to tell good bands that they are the ones that suck, and are not “rock and roll.” Like Hinder knows what rock is.

The guys in Hinder also like to jerk each other off. Seriously, that’s what I heard.

Anyway, I paid a little visit to Hinder’s lame ass website (much lamer than mine I might add). So now I will proceed to make fun of it.

These guys are rock? Nice purple shirt and blazer combo, jackass. Are you waiting for the other guys to put their weiners in your hands? And what’s with the redhead dude. Every picture he’s got his head tilted back like he’s some kind of gangster. Gangster of fisting dudes maybe? And it looks like that other guy used the lead singer’s jizz to do his hair. Are these f***ers rock or emo? Depends on which picture you look at I guess. What do you say A.W.E.S.O.M-O.?

LAME! NOT COOL.

So now we’re into the cream of crapton at:

http://www.hindermusic.com/

Of course the first thing we see is one of the crappiest bands ever assembled, so it is what you would expect so far. Apparently some of the guys had trouble deciding who was going to be Bon Jovi and who would be John Melloncamp. I don’t have to tell you which ones. Scroll down and you can leave Hinder a message telling them how much they suck ass. Done.

Click on the giant portrait of lame and we go right into the site. It’s really just a big advertisement for people to buy cd’s and concert tickets. LAME. Oh but what’s this? The “Catfight of the Week.” Yes, each week let’s put up a picture of two slutbag groupies we met on the road and see which one is voted as the hottest, just to prove how much we love and respect women. Right? Sounds like a case of serious d-baggery to me. Even better, as I’m writing this, one of these is just a picture of Lindsey Lohan from a photo shoot a couple years ago. But the name doesn’t say Lindsey. Today she is Nicole? Who do they think they’re fooling? Well, I guess the inbred hicks that call themselves Hinder fans would buy this crap.

Speaking of Hinder fans…

Here’s Matthew. He is Hinder’s “fan of the week,” and here’s what he has to say…

“I didn’t know when I bought your cd I was gonna listen to it night after day, over and over again. I thought y’all wrote only about smokin’ pot until I got the cd and I relized how much I related to your songs. When Katrina hit and the power was out all I had was your cd to listen to, and most songs got played out but I could listen to yours forever. Thx for the kick ass tunes.”

Funny, when they released that fucking lips of an angel song I didn’t think it would be played on the radio “night after day,” over and over again. Which is why “they all” who write songs about smoking pot shouldn’t turn around and write whiny bitch songs like that. Exactly which part did you relate to Matthew? The part about getting stoned, or the one about cheating on your girlfriend? And explain this to me. If all the f^%ing power was out, how the f**k did you listen to this worthless cd?!!! You must got some long lasting ass batteries in your discman dude.

I must admit though, Matthew doesn’t look like as big a d-bag as I thought a Hinder fan would. Not like, say, THIS GUY…

Oh don’t worry buddy. I’ll get to you soon enough. In fact, I am going to make this the newest feature here on Angry Ken. Hinder’s lame ass fan of the week. No one will be spared.

This is by no means a one time deal. I will not rest until everyone realizes how much Hinder fucking sucks. So if you’re going to choose a side, choose the side of good, the side that will stand up against crappy music like Hinder. Join the Angry Ken Nation. Hinder is going down. This is only the beginning.

By the way, OK Go is awesome.

Who the hell is Hinder anyway? They must be total badasses right? I mean who wouldn’t be with a song called “Lips of an Angel” which totally sounds like a crappy 80’s power ballad.

You want to attack a band like OK Go!, a group that has more talent in one treadmill than your entire shitty ass disaster you call a band. (If you need more info on what I’m talking about, read this interview http://www.stereogum.com/archives/003347.html )

So I guess if someone does something original then they are not rock and roll and are fairies. Sounds like jealousy to me.

Yeah. Because fairies don’t write whiny songs about angel lips. Real rock and rollers also open for crappy bands like Nickelback and Hoobastank.

HELLO! You’re OPENING for Nickelback and Hoobastank! You have no right to tell anyone what rock and roll is.

Hinder, I’m calling you wannabe badasses out. Your music sucks and I would spit in all (however many people you have in your joke of a band) of your faces. You guys are so unoriginal that you sound like all the other garbage played today. And in an attempt to get more exposure, you go after a group of musicians that actually have talent. Way to go tough guys.

More people know who and what OK Go is/are than have even heard of Hinder. Listen to Hinder’s music and you’ll know why.

THEY F*CKING SUCK!

My dating life has made for some humorous occurences as of late.  So rather than wallow in it, I might as well have fun.  I had the local oddsmaker come up with the numbers on some possible (and in my case very likely) scenarios.  Keep in mind that a couple of these have already happened.

Here are the betting odds that the next girl I date: 

- is crazy - 3:2 (1)
- is pregnant (by someone else) - 100:1
- has a kid(s) - 10:1
    Sub-bet: I have a confrontation at some point with “baby daddy” 3:1
- is a lesbian - 1,000,000:1 (2)
- is married - 25:1
- is “separated” - 25:2
- is engaged - 10,000:1 (3) 
- gets back with an ex - 5:1
- flees country before going on a date with Ken - 7:1
-  ” “   ” ”   ” “  after going on a date with Ken - 2:1
- is arrested - 5:1
-  ” “   ” “    while on a date with Ken  - 11:1
-  ” “   ” “   ” “   ” “   ” “   ” “   “  “    ” “  because of something Ken has done - 20:1                                        - disappears without a trace - 2:1 

Betting notes:
(1) This is more or less a given in some capacity.
(2) After a careful look at the situation, this has the slightest potential to be a good thing, therefore will not happen.
(3) This is normally the time of their lives that girls are the “most in love”. Ken will certainly not look appealing to anyone at that point.

As you can see, when comparing my love life to gambling, it pretty much comes out to be something alot like roulette of the Russian variety. So place your bets in the comments section. You might be a winner, as my loss could be your gain!

Special thanks to the Burger King drive thru for forgetting the sauce for my chicken fries. DAMNIT!!!

I guess I should write something today. Let me think about it for minute.

You’ll wait, and you’ll like it.

A word of advice. If you’re ever going to get something installed in your car, like a stereo system or an alarm, don’t go to Circuit City.  I had to learn this the hard way. 

Most recently I had a car alarm installed.  After two additional trips back to the place, someone who actually knew what they were doing fixed the damn thing.  This wasn’t the first time I’ve had problems with them either. This goes back a few years. 

Three cars; cd player, speakers, component system, subwoofers, alarm system, nothing was done right the first time. (This was back when I was into the whole car audio thing. Don’t really care about big loud subs anymore, which is why I sold them.)  I guess I’m an idiot for going back each time.  Nonetheless, I won’t be going there anymore.  The people that work there are not all that professional either.  When I walked in there last night, there were three guys just standing around, and they just kinda looked at me when I approached them.  No “how can I help you” or anything. 

The other day when I was waiting around for them to fix the alarm, I asked one of the guys if they didn’t carry Alpine products anymore, which are supposed to be top of the line. 

His response was simply ”no”.  I asked if there was any particular reason.

“We just don’t.”

Alright then, ass.  This is the kinda crap that pisses me off.  Employees that don’t even pretend to give a shit and are so unprofessional.  I wasn’t even offered any kind of compensation or discount for all the hassle.  I didn’t ask for any because I don’t like to be a dick like that, but they barely even apologized for the fact that I had to come back 3 times for something they screwed up in the first place. 

Well I’ve finally learned my lesson.  If I have anything further done to my car, I’ll be sure to do it at Best Buy.  They know what they’re doing. 

I’ve hit such a creative wall today.  Probably because the last few days have been pretty uneventful.  I really need something to get angry about.  Maybe I could rant about foreign people. They tend to piss me off.  So do democrats.

Stay tuned. I’m open to topic suggestions also.

It seems that a couple months ago, somebody at Bloggyawards.com did a review of my site Angryken.com. Let’s just say the critic’s comments were less than flattering. But no matter, because now he/she gets to feel the wrath of Angry Ken.

First of all, based on the review I was given, it doesn’t seem like the critic read more than 1 post, because nothing they said made a whole lot of sense. You can read the actual page below.

http://www.bloggyaward.com/?p=248

Now I’ll add my own comments (in bold) to this “review”:

This blog is like a long hate letter which is probably what the author is going for but is honestly quite tedious. (Hate letter? Maybe. But most of the time I’m really just randomly ranting about things that anger me and piss me off, or just throwing things out there that I find interesting. I don’t know where he gets it as being tedious because it’s not like I talk about the same things all the time. My topics really don’t follow any pattern. I just write about what’s on my mind at that particular time.)
Visual Aesthetics � 3

The use of red against black is appropriate for the mood the blog wants to set. The complete absence of visuals though leaves a lot of empty black spaces on the right side of the page giving it a stilted look. (Did they even move their beady little eyes over to the right of the screen and see all the crap that’s there; blog lists, topics, ads, etc. Maybe he wants some purty little pictures to go along with the writing.)

User Friendliness � 2

The blog opens quickly but its dark theme combined with the profane language it uses on its posts hardly make the blog friendly. (Well no shit! I never set out to do a “friendly” blog. This guy should’ve realized that just from the title, ANGRY Ken. I kinda always thought “user friendliness had to do with the ease of navigating a site. With regard to that, my site is pretty simple. Click on something and you go there. The categories and links to other blogs are all layed out in front of you, and leaving comments is so easy, even a Bloggy Award Critic can do it. Well, maybe not.)

Reading Enjoyment � 2

As mentioned, the posts are mostly the author’s angry opinions about things and people. Misspellings abound as is the use of slang and cuss words. As expected, the writer gets equally abusive, hate comments. This blog and its angry theme is just an excuse to hit on anyone. (Duh again! That’s exactly what it is. As far as misspellings go, maybe early on when I just threw stuff up without proofreading, but I take some pride in making sure I use correct spelling and grammar, except of course when using slang, which is why it is called slang. And I know I use profanity, but I really don’t think I use four letter words all that often, and half the time I censor them. Of course I’m going to cuss sometimes though. That’s what I do when I’m angry, and it gets my point across.)

Useful Info � 1

I do not think this blog will be useful to anyone unless the reader is looking for a venue to write expletives. (We’re not buidling goddam ladders here! You want to find something useful, go to a cooking blog, or build your own canoe blog. If you want to read random, funny nonsense, then this is the place. When the hell did I ever say anything on here was useful? Is a comedy show on tv considered useful?

Overall Experience � 2

This is not a blog that merits recognition. It has too many cuss words to give it any degree of respectability. While it may get revisits from people who may be similarly inclined toward gutter language, I do not think it should be bookmarked. (Again, what was this guy reading? I don’t cuss that much, and even if I did, SO WHAT? It’s called Angry Ken. I even try to keep profanity at a minimum because I know you lose respectability if you can’t utter more than 4 letter words all the time. They do serve a purpose though. Would Dave Chappelle or Chris Rock be as funny if they didn’t ever cuss? I guess too, that all you readers are “similarly inclined toward gutter language”.

So based on the Bloggy rating system, it looks like I scored a whopping 10 out of a total 50. But considering this particular critic probably didn’t read more than 1 post, or maybe even the correct blog for that matter, I pretty much dismiss his comments altogether. If I were to review this review, I’d give it a 1 out of 10, because the critic clearly missed the whole point completely.

People should bookmark this page if they like what they read. When I stop coming up with stuff they find entertaining, they can stop visiting. Everyone else can go to the make your own ladder blog if they want something with instructions.