My dating life has made for some humorous occurences as of late. So rather than wallow in it, I might as well have fun. I had the local oddsmaker come up with the numbers on some possible (and in my case very likely) scenarios. Keep in mind that a couple of these have already happened.
Here are the betting odds that the next girl I date:
- is crazy - 3:2 (1)
- is pregnant (by someone else) - 100:1
- has a kid(s) - 10:1
Sub-bet: I have a confrontation at some point with “baby daddy” 3:1
- is a lesbian - 1,000,000:1 (2)
- is married - 25:1
- is “separated” - 25:2
- is engaged - 10,000:1 (3)
- gets back with an ex - 5:1
- flees country before going on a date with Ken - 7:1
- ” “ ” ” ” “ after going on a date with Ken - 2:1
- is arrested - 5:1
- ” “ ” “ while on a date with Ken - 11:1
- ” “ ” “ ” “ ” “ ” “ ” “ “ “ ” “ because of something Ken has done - 20:1 - disappears without a trace - 2:1
Betting notes:
(1) This is more or less a given in some capacity.
(2) After a careful look at the situation, this has the slightest potential to be a good thing, therefore will not happen.
(3) This is normally the time of their lives that girls are the “most in love”. Ken will certainly not look appealing to anyone at that point.
As you can see, when comparing my love life to gambling, it pretty much comes out to be something alot like roulette of the Russian variety. So place your bets in the comments section. You might be a winner, as my loss could be your gain!
September 9th, 2006 at 11:59 am
Pity party at Ken’s house tonight at 8pm. Bring your fiances, children, and lesbian lovers.
September 9th, 2006 at 12:25 pm
Well played.
September 10th, 2006 at 11:02 am
geez, at least you’re a guy! Quite your crying. It’s much worse if you’re a girl– the stories I could tell!
September 10th, 2006 at 2:34 pm
Then do tell. Women are always complaining about dating when they have the option to be much more selective than men do.
September 11th, 2006 at 7:14 am
Translation; being a retail boy has no sex appeal, does it you hermamphadite?
September 11th, 2006 at 8:44 am
I sent you only one example of how girls have it harder than guys dating. I can give more examples if need be. I wasn’t sure if I was allowed to put that story on here.
September 11th, 2006 at 3:59 pm
I kind of get annoyed when women complain about the tough dating scene. Maybe it’s because I’ve been married a while and forget what it’s like out there, but when I was single, it was easy as pie.
Guys on the other hand have to worry about calling the gal, making the date, making sure it’s a good date, paying for said date, impressing her with his car and gross income (I am not that superficial but most women are), and so on.
And the worst part about being a male vs. being a female is that a woman can get a piece any time she wants. A man has to work too damn hard for it.
Women are much more critical on men than men are on women. I feel for you guys, I really do. And I also thank god I am out of the dating pool. The other women wouldn’t stand a chance competing against me.
September 11th, 2006 at 4:31 pm
I just want a nice guy who can treat me good. I’m not complaining about dating. I love dating. The toughest thing right now is weeding out the married men who aren’t happy at home and act single.
I’m in my 30’s and make damn good money myself, so I don’t need them to take care of me. Hell, I’ll even pay for the date.
So hey, Ken- let’s go out!
September 11th, 2006 at 5:05 pm
a) Only 3:2 that she will be crazy? Heck, by my observation at least 8 out of 10 women are psycho once you get to know them.
And then you have to adjust the odds for those that would actually date Ken.
b) Weeding out the married men who aren’t happy at home and act single? Well no wonder you are having problems finding a man!
The REAL problem is the polygamy laws. Not the ones dealing with underage girls (those are good laws) — the problem is the part where you can’t have a harem with a dozen wives feeding you grapes. THAT would keep us home.
September 11th, 2006 at 6:57 pm
Sounds good to me Jodi. Unless you are going to act the part of one of the odds listed at the top in an attempt to win money.
September 11th, 2006 at 7:42 pm
And here I am with my brand new video camera, designed to bring new original content and entertainment to the web… Hmmm…
September 12th, 2006 at 7:13 am
I would like the record to show that there are just as many crazy men out there as there are women.
LOL Now you have me thinking Ken.
September 12th, 2006 at 7:36 am
I think we have the makings of a new reality/dating show…
Shotgun Host!
September 12th, 2006 at 10:02 am
It’d be what I like to call a beautiful trainwreck.
September 12th, 2006 at 10:10 am
LOL Thanks alot!
September 12th, 2006 at 10:20 am
I didn’t mean it that way…
September 12th, 2006 at 10:20 am
a) Beautiful and Ken do not belong associated with one another.
b) zDom: I feel for you. If it takes a dozen women to keep you home, you must be dating mere ameteurs. Real women can satisfy our mens solo with no assistance, well minus a few fun toys and such from time to time. Wait, can I say this kind of stuff around Ken’s young naive ears?
c) The ratio of crazy women is more like 9 out of 10. We are all a little neurotic on some level and that’s one of the many facets about us that intrigue men enough to keep them coming back for more. It’s all about the challenge, right boys?
d) Count me in as a viewer of what’s sure to be a hilarious look into dating life of a recluse geek who also happens to be a poor Bengals fan. Priceless!
September 12th, 2006 at 10:28 am
Ah SCG, your ability to amuse me knows no end.
September 12th, 2006 at 10:36 am
…I’m usually the reason the train derails.
September 12th, 2006 at 10:41 am
I would hate to disappoint.
September 12th, 2006 at 11:18 am
I think u should go out with every type of girl listed on ua ‘betting page’ Ken and have that be the premise of the show(without causing u any harm ofcourse)
LOL!
Now that’s a dating show.
September 12th, 2006 at 11:24 am
That would be awesome. But how would I know what girl I am getting?
Women construct webs of confusion and mystery!
September 12th, 2006 at 11:29 am
We could put them on a roulette wheel! Take a spin….lol
September 12th, 2006 at 11:29 am
We could put them on a roulette wheel! Take a spin….lol
September 12th, 2006 at 11:37 am
That idea is so good we should do it twice.
September 12th, 2006 at 11:45 am
Ken, I don’t know if you could handle multiple rounds you ‘lil youngster. lol
September 12th, 2006 at 11:55 am
There you go again. And you’re probably right if they are all crazy chicks.
September 12th, 2006 at 12:11 pm
LOL I don’t know y it did that! And for the record, I’m only a little crazy!
September 12th, 2006 at 12:14 pm
Aw, SGC: the nanny goat that keeps vanquishing my polygamy troll : )
Here I am trying to convince myself that I want polygamy and you keep throwing me curveballs that question my lecherous desires.
I’m just wondering if a real woman can keep the grass on the other side of the fence from looking greener…. and the grass on the other side of THAT fence — oh: and the grass over there, too… and WOW: look at THAT grass!
Prolly just a bad case of “eyes bigger than my” er…. “stomach.” : )
September 12th, 2006 at 12:26 pm
This guy is great!
Every girl is a little crazy at least. I usually come across the ones that should literally be locked away for the safety of themselves and those around them.
September 12th, 2006 at 12:39 pm
LOL! Wow Ken, maybe those are the type u unconsciuosly (sp) seek out. U like ‘em a lil crazy huh Ken? Like to keep things interesting?
zDom, how green is your grass?
September 12th, 2006 at 12:44 pm
Or maybe I just make them crazy.
September 12th, 2006 at 12:47 pm
Oh my. I have met my witty match in zDom. Finally a man who can make me laugh with him (not at him like Ken) and carry on a titilating conversation.
All I can respond with is, once you get a real woman, you’ll know. There’s no mistaking a good piece of ass, er grass.
September 12th, 2006 at 3:09 pm
SCG, all of your “wit” is at the expense of yours truly. You can’t ride that train forever. Big ups to zDom for pulling humor from sources such as goats, trolls, and the Amish.
September 12th, 2006 at 4:09 pm
There is so much flirting on here now. It’s not such an angry blog anymore. Just give it time, I guess. It’ll change.
September 12th, 2006 at 4:20 pm
Ken’s easily distracted by T&A.
September 12th, 2006 at 4:21 pm
And I assume your train is a short one so I will refrain from riding it Ken.
September 12th, 2006 at 4:26 pm
LOL That’s so freaking funny!
September 12th, 2006 at 4:56 pm
You know, when I wrote that I thought to myself, “SCG is probably mature enough to not take the word ‘ride’ out of context as such. Being that the train is still a common form of transportation.” That’s what I get for assuming things.
September 12th, 2006 at 5:38 pm
It’s okay Ken,. You made up for it by saying “Big ups…”. That totally caught my attention more.
September 13th, 2006 at 10:42 am
Hey, I have you thinking so that’s a start. Proud of ya!
As for my crass joke, your site has diluted my mind so I now find it okay to resort to penis jokes. Deal with the monster you have unleashed.
September 15th, 2006 at 1:31 pm
Witty, bootylicious, AND she enjoys the occasional penis joke.
It’s true: all the good ones are taken (sigh).
September 15th, 2006 at 9:04 pm
If it makes you feel any better zDom, I am pretty high maintenance and a little too “Type A”. It’s not all peaches and cream, even with me.
October 23rd, 2006 at 11:28 am
Okay, who had “gets back with an ex?”