7:00 P.M. Opening flag burning.
7:15 P.M. Pledge of allegiance to U.N.
7:30 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
7:30 till 8:00 P.M. Nonreligious prayer and worship; Jessie Jackson and Al Sharpton.
8:00 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
8:05 P.M. Ceremonial tree hugging.
8:15 - 8:30 P.M. Gay Wedding; Barney Frank Presiding.
8:30 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
8:35 P.M. Free Sadam Rally; Cindy Sheehan, Susan Sarandon.
9:00 P.M. Keynote speech. The proper etiquette for surrender; French President Jacques Chirac.
9:15 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
9:20 P.M. Collection to benefit Osama Bin Laden kidney transplant fund
9:30 P.M. Unveiling of plan to free freedom fighters from Guantanamo Bay; Sean Penn.
9:40 P.M. Why I hate the Military, A short talk by William Jefferson Clinton
9:45 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
9:50 P.M. Dan Rather presented Truth in Broadcasting award; presented by Michael Moore.
9:55 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
10:00 P.M. How George bush and Donald Rumsfeld brought down the World Trade Center Towers; Howard Dean
10:30 P.M. Nomination of Hillary Rodham Clinton by Mahmud Ahnadinejad.
11:00 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
11:05 P.M. Al Gore reinvents Internet
11:15 P.M. Our Troops are War criminals; John Kerry
11:30 P.M. Coronation Of Mrs. Rodham Clinton
12:00 A.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
12:05 A.M. Bill asks Ted to drive Hillary home
We’re doomed!
November 14th, 2006 at 10:05 am
Holy Shiite! That’s the funniest thing I’ve seen in a long time!! I propose a toast!
November 14th, 2006 at 12:54 pm
lol this is hilarious. I like “Bill asked Ted to drive Hilary home.”
November 14th, 2006 at 1:57 pm
LOL, Ken.
LOL, Sgt. Poon (Holy Shiite…lol)
Is this the start of an Excellent Adventure for Bill and Ted?
November 14th, 2006 at 3:42 pm
Only if by “Bill and Ted” you mean “Poon and Tang”
November 15th, 2006 at 3:33 am
Republican National Convention 2008: Agenda
7:15pm. Opening cold sweat and nailbiting session
7:30pm. Destroy all evidence that George W. Bush and Dick Cheney ever existed.
8:00pm. Pats on the back, kudos all around, official flying of the “Mission Accomplished” banner. Ol’whats-his-name presiding.
8:15pm. Muckraking roundtable. Topic: “How the hell are we going to take down Hillary?” Rudy Guliani presiding.
8:30pm. Entire room spanks Guliani with wooden cooking spoons for being too liberal.
8:50pm. —Break. Money fight!—
9:10pm. Guest speaker: Jesus Christ. Topic: “What to do next.” Ol’whats-his-name acts as vessel for the voice of god.
9:30pm. The Comedy stylings of Ann Coulter!
9:45-11pm. —Break for room thawing—
11pm. Stem Cell funding proposals shreded. Prayer insighted for the millions of victims.
11:30pm Reassurance speech: Why getting Saddam was actually better than getting Osama Bin Laden.
11:45pm Nomination/rejection of John McCain. Sited reason: Draft dodgers trump war heros. Harriet Miers taken out of suitcase and assembled.
12:00am. Resident psychiatry session: “Coping with the black cloud of failure.”
12:15am. Closing remarks. “I told you it wouldn’t work.” By George Bush Sr.
November 15th, 2006 at 6:14 am
WOW!
I do not think that is exactly accurate.
I do believe Ted would have started with an opening toast.
(When he asks for toast for breakfast, he always asks for no ice)
Besides I would drink too if I was the only one in my immediate family that has not been killed.
As for the republican convention…
I believe you left out the lecture on “Reagan Ranches, Shooting your Friends, and other Republican Jollies”.
November 15th, 2006 at 11:01 am
Ann Coulter is hot.
November 15th, 2006 at 12:30 pm
Democrats and Republicans alike are all evil, money hungry, power-seeking assholes.
Even poloticians at the local level in my city are corrupt.
November 15th, 2006 at 2:46 pm
Right on the button, SGC. Nicely said.
November 15th, 2006 at 2:47 pm
Er.. SCG
November 15th, 2006 at 5:38 pm
Please disregard my typo. When my mind starts racing, my hands can’t keep up.
November 16th, 2006 at 3:36 am
Ann Coulter is the most ornery, unpleasant bitch on the face of the earth.
November 17th, 2006 at 10:46 am
I’d like to see a cat fight between Ann Coulter and Hillary Clinton.
November 18th, 2006 at 11:20 am
zDom: you’d like to see a cat fight between any two women. Horndog!
December 19th, 2006 at 4:12 pm
That was so stupid.
I’m a democrat for life and look who lost in the year 2006.
January 18th, 2007 at 3:05 pm
Wow, that was a dumb post.
January 18th, 2007 at 7:30 pm
YOU’RE a dumb post! Zing.
July 5th, 2007 at 7:22 pm
AngryKen go suck a dank… i know you like those hoes