Tonight I snapped and finally realized what has been pent up inside me for months now. I hate Los Angeles! This has to be one of the worst places in America to live, and it gets worse every day.
Tonight I was supposed to go to a screening of the new movie Superbad. The movie started at 7:00, so I left work at 5:30, thinking that would be enough time to get to the theater which was about 8 miles from my office. WRONG! Two g*ddam hours later I made it to the theater, just in time for the movie to be half over.
This just set off a firestorm of everything I hate about Los Angeles. Let me just say that LA is full of f**cking morons who shouldn’t be allowed to drive. I know a good 95% of you people deserve to be locked away because you are just too stupid to function.
A word of advice: Green means go, gas is on the right. If you can’t follow these instructions, then get the hell out of my way. You wonder why I’m angry? Sh*t like this is what makes me angry!
And I love the people that honk their horns in a traffic jam. LIKE THIS DOES ANYTHING AT ALL TO HELP THE SITUATION YOU STUPID MFer. And then while I’m sitting at an intersection with pedestrians passing in front of me, some biatch behind me starts honking her horn and shouting what I can only assume are obscenities in a language I can’t understand (this is America). As much as I might enjoy mowing down citizens of Los Angeles, I’m not going to just so your a$$ can pass into the next lane. Get serious.
So traffic sucks 24 hours a day here and has only gotten worse since I arrived. This town has a serious problem on its hands. I used to be able to leave work at 7:30 and get home without much problem. Not anymore because idiot drivers out here seem to multiply like rabbits. You got these yuppies jackasses and A-holes driving their lame Bentleys and BMW’s with their heads up their asses. I swear it must be the law that you have to be talking on your cell phone while driving. God help you if ever you hit me while on your phone, I will shove it so far up you a$$ you’ll be text messaging with you teeth. Someone give me a box of grenades and some orange barrels and I will fix the traffic problem.
The other thing I’m so over is the whole “hollywood” thing. It’s all bulls**t. The truth is, there is very little I can do here to have fun that I couldn’t do in Cincinnati. Plus prices aren’t jacked up and it doesn’t take me an hour to drive one city block. All of you complaining about not liking where you live, shut up and be happy you don’t live here. It was kinda cool when I first got out here and started seeing famous people, but now I could care less. These people are just like everyone else. A$$holes. They think they walk on water and it shows. And why wouldn’t they? The people here worship everything they do and give them whatever they want. I learned that first hand at those stupid Spike TV awards (again, f**k you Spike TV). I don’t care if I see anymore famous people. When Charles Barkley comes to town I’ll go get his autograph. The rest can bite my a$$.
As soon as I’m rich I am outta here!
F*ckin’ California
June 14th, 2007 at 11:07 am
No one believed Luke when he tried to tell them how much L.A. sucks balls. Now they are starting to see it for themselves.
If you have to live in SoCal, move to San Diego, it’s WAAAAY better than L.A.
People should listen to me more often, then they could avoid crap like this.
Then again, Ken wouldn’t be so angry…
June 15th, 2007 at 12:07 pm
So you had it better where you were and admit you’re an idiot?
June 15th, 2007 at 12:18 pm
Never said I regretted moving here. I don’t. I’ve just found out how much LA sucks the big one, which is what people would say about you if you ever left your parents’ basement.
July 6th, 2007 at 10:32 am
I coulda told ya, Ken, but some things are best learned by experience.
July 23rd, 2007 at 8:13 pm
Well, if you and all your midwest and east coast buddies would go back to that midwest and east coast shithole you crawled out of, then we wouldn’t have such a problem, would we?
July 23rd, 2007 at 9:31 pm
Look at this f*ckin guy! Labeling the entire midwest/east coast as a “shithole” seems pretty general. What are you basing this on? Upset at the lack of Paris Hilton and Fat Burgers found east of California. God help you though if you’re from Seattle. Then you really have no room to talk.
YOUR problem is just beginning!
July 23rd, 2007 at 10:50 pm
I’m just bullshitting with you. I don’t really give a hoot one way or the other. Rock on, dude! I like your ranting blog so much I had to quit lurking and finally link to it.
July 24th, 2007 at 1:02 am
Ah well sweet! Usually people come in here and talk a bunch of bull and get all serious about it. Glad you enjoy the nonsensical ranting.
July 28th, 2007 at 8:39 pm
Sometime around the year 350 B.C., Aristotle said, “A great city is not to be confounded with a populous one.”
His words still ring true today.
L.A. is overrated. You should live in a city that is no bigger than what you need to make you happy.