What do you get when you mix rich Euro trash with “The Fast and the Furious?” The movie “Redline,” which opens in theaters today. Will I see it? F*#@ NO! I bet this movie will make F&F look like an Oscar winner.

Obviously I do not have to see this movie to know that it is an absolute suckfest. Come on! The biggest star in the movie is Eddie Griffin? I know America is filled with idiots, but even they should feel insulted. And apparently the only selling point to this film is cool cars and hot girls, which I can see anywhere on the internet, or on the streets out here in Beverly Hills for that matter.

If there’s one upside to all this, it’s knowing that if a steaming pile of monkey crap like this can get made, then anything I write on a napkin can become a movie. Although I must admit, I will probably watch this movie (not at a theater) to see just how bad it really is, then think of all the ways I could’ve made it entertaining.